Good morning & happy Monday!
“Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.”
Dale Carnegie, author, 1888-1955
Success & happiness … these are things that all of us want. No matter your age, no matter where you live on our planet, no matter what language you speak, no matter your upbringing, no matter your culture … we all want to be happy and successful.
But what does that mean?
This is a question I cannot answer for you, and I’ve found a lot of us struggle to answer that question for ourselves.
As a financial planner my initial dialogue with a potential client in our first meeting oftentimes looks something like this:
Me: “What would you like to accomplish with our time together today?”
Client: “I want to evaluate my finances and investments to see if I’m on track for my financial goals.”
Me: “Great! What are your financial goals?
Client: “Well, I want to be financially stable.”
Me: “Ok, how do you define that?”
Client: “Well, you know, I want to be able to do what I want when I want and not have money be an obstacle. If I want to go out to eat, I can do it. If I want to take a trip, I have the money to do it.”
Me: “So if you have the money to go out to eat when you want and travel when you want then you would consider yourself to be financially successful?”
Client: “Yeah, I guess so.”
Me: “When’s the last time you went out to eat.”
Client: “Last week.”
Me: “When’s the last time you took a vacation?”
Client: “I took a family vacation last summer.”
Me: “Well, by your definition, you are already financially successful.”
Client: “Uh … I don’t feel financially successful.”
Me: “Now we’re getting somewhere. Get comfortable, let’s roll up our sleeves and get to work. 😊”
I have heard “I want to be financially stable” my entire career. Here’s the thing … being financially stable means wildly different things to different people.
I have clients who are quite content and doing wonderful with a $50,000/year retirement income. I have other clients who would think that’s the poverty level.
Neither are wrong, it’s a matter of what’s right for them.
Author Shawn Achor is so wise in his statement “Happiness fuels success, not the other way around.”
If we believe that financial or career success in our lives will directly lead to happiness, I fear we may be seriously mistaken.
Buzz Aldrin, the astronaut who was a part of the successful Apollo 11 mission that landed on the moon on July 20,1969 struggled with depression and alcohol addiction following this amazing accomplishment. How do you top being the 2nd person to walk on the moon? Where does one go from there?
His success did not lead to happiness … and it probably won’t for any of us either.
Success is a moving goalpost. When someone is making $20,000/year they think they will be happy if they are ever to make $50,000/year. When they hit $50,000/year they are not happy because they have set their eyes on $100,000/year. At $100,000 the goal post is moved again to a higher number … and there is no end to this. You would make $10,000,000/year and it won’t bring happiness.
Money / income can be deceitful in making us think it’s associated with happiness.
If we let external forces (such as income, wealth or how the stock market is doing) dictate our happiness we will be on a rollercoaster. One minute we are happy, the next we are depressed.
Happiness is a choice …. and it’s a choice we must constantly remake. It’s not a one-time decision. I must daily make this choice. Heck, I likely will have to make this choice multiple times in a day or even an hour.
If happiness is indeed a choice, how can we choose to be more happy? According to an article I found on happiness.com (Why happiness is a choice (and 8 ways you can choose it today) | happiness.com) here are 8 choices we can make that will increase our happiness:
- Choose gratitude and look on the bright side
- Choose to think positively
- Choose to smile
- Choose kindness
- Choose meaningful relationships / interactions
- Choose to be more mindful
- Choose a purpose
- Choose to be satisfied
Although not an extensive list, I do think this is a great start.
This week ahead and I am going to make a conscious effort to incorporate some of these suggestions into my life.
I believe when we are happy we make better financial decisions, which can lead to less stress, which can lead to more happiness. So, let’s choose to be happy this week 😊
Thanks for the tremendous privilege of partnering with you. Make it a great week ahead!