Good morning & happy Monday!
“Opportunity often comes disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat.”
– Napolean Hill
Graduation season is upon us and many of us will (or have) be attending ceremonies to honor our graduating loved ones.
I was thinking about how when you look across the sea of graduates a good many of them have a map in their mind of what they think their life is going to look like.
Here’s the thing. 100% of them will be wrong.
No one’s life turns out the way they think it will. I know my life most certainly did not.
I’m one of the few who knew my career path at a young age. I knew I wanted to do something in the financial planning space since I was probably 12 or 13 years old. But other parts of my life have most certainly not gone according to plan.
Looking back at my 26 years since graduating high school (good gosh, at what point do I officially cross over into being old?) the two greatest pain points in my life have directly resulted in two of the greatest blessings in my life.
From pain to blessing #1: I got married at age 19 and after nearly 10 years of marriage my wife decided she no longer wanted to be married to me and wanted a divorce. She refused to go to counseling or put in any effort to saving the relationship and we were officially divorced 1 month shy of our 10th wedding anniversary. I was absolutely devastated. I know many of you have experienced the pain of divorce, to say it is heartbreaking would be an understatement.
But, that divorce, as painful as it was, opened the door for me to meet my wife, Rebecca. We will celebrate 15 years of marriage this October and I can’t even begin to describe how much of a blessing she is in my life. I can’t imagine my life without her, but this relationship was only possible because of the painful divorce I went through.
Quick funny story about my wife and I … We met on an online Christian dating website back before meeting on the internet was normal. We were kinda’ pioneers in this space, I guess. 😉 One of the fields to complete on my online profile was height. So, I’m 5 foot, 9 ½ inches tall so I rounded up to 5’ 10” … in my defense there was no ½ option and I wasn’t going to round down. Well, my wife’s search criteria was filtered to only see guys 5’ 10” and above. So had I not rounded up my height I’m not sure we would have met. Our ongoing joke is that we only met because I’m a liar and she’s shallow. 😉 But, that’s our story. 😊 It’s not perfect, but what is?
In hindsight I am so grateful that my first wife filed for divorce, that was an unbelievable blessing in disguise.
From pain to blessing #2: I worked with Northwestern Mutual from 2008 – 2021, that’s where I met many of you. In March of 2013 I was “promoted” to management position, which means I traded my one job of being a financial advisor for 3 jobs: financial advisor for my clients, recruiting new advisors, and training those advisors in the Polk County Northwestern office. I had lots of responsibilities and worked long hours to try to be successful in the role.
In January 2017 my boss and I went to lunch, and he unexpectedly terminated my management contract. He determined that I was not recruiting enough new agents so right after we sat in the restaurant booth he said, “You’re done with management.” What?!?! Just like that, I was fired from my management position! I’ve always been a hard worker and prided myself on my dedication to whatever work I put myself into, I’m not the kind of guy who gets fired! I was devastated.
I continued as an advisor serving my clients at Northwestern Mutual for a number of years following the termination of my management contract, but that was a painful experience.
But you know what? Being let go from that management position helped me to reevaluate my career, explore other opportunities, and eventually led me to open Intentional Wealth a few years later. I’m fairly certain that Intentional Wealth would have never existed had it not been for that management firing. From a career standpoint I could not possibly be happier … at Intentional Wealth I work with an incredible team to build meaningful financial plans for amazing clients … it’s honestly a dream come true. It would have never happened had I not been fired from management at Northwestern.
In hindsight I am so grateful that I got fired from that management position, that was an unbelievable blessing in disguise.
Now, not every story has a happy ending. So much of life is out of our control. A lot of what happens to us does not, and never will, make sense on this side of eternity, but I absolutely hold strong to what Romans 8:28 states, “And we know in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
I know many of you are going through painful seasons of life. Medical diagnosis with very little hope. Family dynamics that seem unsolvable. Daily stress that seems unmanageable. Careers that seem to be going nowhere. Do not lose hope. Do not give up. God always has been and always will be in control.
About 10 years ago I read a powerful book by Max Lucado called ‘Facing your Giants.’ On the back cover of that book I read a statement that has stuck with me ever since: “I encourage you when facing your giants – don’t just tell God how big your giants are, remind your giants how big your God is.”
I will wrap up my comments today with an amazing quote from author L. R. Knost, “Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and the awful it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.”
It is an incredible honor for me to be a part of your life and the story you are writing.
Make it a great week ahead!